Landscape Of My Soul
by mavoroux
Summary: Let's assume Elena never had that car accident; that Alaric didn't kill Klaus that nothing from the entire last episode has happened except her choosing either Stefan or Damon Salvatore. And that, by the end of the day, she decides to choose Stefan, exactly like she did on the show. This story is about how she realizes that Damon is the one and slowly lets Stefan go.
1. Chapter 1

**A few notes before you start reading this: **This is a Damon and Elena fanfiction. However, if you hate Stefan and Elena _that _much, you are free to not read this. I figured that I should create a bit of a story, to make Elena realize that she was wrong by choosing Stefan. Therefore, for a chapter or two, I still have no idea; I'll be creating a few SE moments. Still, this story is about DE as much as possible. I hope you enjoy it, I hope you review it I accept good and bad reviews, although you have to construct them wisely and I'm going to apologize from the start by saying that English is not my mother language, that I'm Portuguese and that it is normal if while you read the story you find some grammar mistakes, etc. Thank you.)

**Chapter One. **

Elena woke up with the sunbeams patting her brown, clean and very beautiful face. With a little smile, she opened her eyes and looked at her right, only to see the space in her bed entirely empty. She pouted, as she stuck under the sheets, hoping that she could go back to sleep. But she couldn't; she had school in the morning and, by the afternoon, she would have to help Bonnie and Caroline with another big festival in Mystic Falls, school related. Elena couldn't help but smile; with her two friends, but especially with Caroline, she practically had no free time.

That's when she realized. _There was no school and no big events. Klaus and the rest of the Original Family took it all away. _And it was just like if a big bucket of cold, sparkling water fell on her, making her day a lot worse than she expected.

It was curious, though, extremely curious, how she managed to woke up knowing the only thing that had changed; she woke up knowing that, once again, Stefan Salvatore would be with her, waking her up with his meek, yet provoking smile of him, holding her in his arms once again and making her feel like if she was in heaven. That, she knew. She knew from the bottom of her heart, she knew that it was as certain as the sunrise that day, as certain as the docile, sweet chant of the birds near her window, outside, hidden in the big tree that for many years was a safe haven to her whenever she tried to write on her diary.

_Stefan Salvatore was with her again _and that thought made her smile a bit again.

She thought really hard about the choice she made, and since last night she was entirely sure that she had made the rightful choice. When she came back last night from that ridiculous drive with Matt, Stefan was waiting for her outside her house. Once Matt said goodnight to both of them, he took her in her arms and they shared a long, powerful kiss, the kind of kiss that usually makes a girl dizzy, the kind of kiss that usually drives every girl mad. She knew she made the right choice, forgetting about all that happened, about Klaus, about the Ripper inside Stefan, even about the vampire nature inside him; because a kiss like that, a kiss like those old kisses they used to share, was all that she needed to be taken to her bed and share with him one of the most memorable, passionate and emotional nights she have ever felt.

_That I have ever felt with him, _Elena thought, while trying to get up from bed.

Her eyes gazed another time, from days ago, when she shared the bed with another person and when her heart, soul and head were also dizzy, but with such different feelings. They never had sex, which made everything different and more complex. _Damon, _she thought again, getting closer to the window while staring at the old street where she was born and raised. The only thing that was necessary of him to make her skin go fire and her heart burn into flames was his touch. That was all he needed to drive her insane; his touch was as dangerous and luxurious as the taste of the powerful sin. He touched her hand while they were sharing a bed, knowing that he shouldn't force her to more, that he _couldn't _force her to more, and she lost it completely. And that was also one of the most passionate moments she have ever felt, and nothing happened. At least not in that exact moment. She smile while she remembered the touch of his thin lips, like if they were some kind of sweet poison that drove her to heaven. That was definitely passionate, and important for her heart, and she would never forget it. She couldn't forget it, could she?

But then she remembered. She had chosen Stefan, and with that choice there had to come many sacrifices. Of course, Damon and her shared some good, sexy moments, but Stefan was everything she could possibly want. They both shared significant moments, and he was the closest thing she had to humanity, to kindness. At least that's what she wanted to think. That's what she had to think to forget the tiny, yet huge part of her that had feelings for Damon. She needed to forget him, and she would; oh, she would. Elena Gilbert never missed a challenge, and this one was the most important of them all.

She couldn't have them both, and she knew it. She wasn't Katherine, except in her looks, where they looked exactly like twins although she envied the vampire at some point, because Katherine most of the times had some sensual, provoking moves that Elena simply didn't have (_there goes the Petrova fire, _she thought with a quick laugh and that's why she had to make that choice. And she chose the person who made her feel safer and better. And that person was Stefan.

"Good morning", Stefan mumbled in the front door of her bedroom, gently smiling at her.

"Good morning", she replied, withdrawing the look out of the window to get a fine look at her… Her what? Boyfriend? Colorful friend? She really had no idea, but full of positive thoughts, she actually didn't give a damn about it. "Where have you been? I missed you when I woke up."

"I was preparing breakfast", he explained, getting closer to hear and holding her waist in his muscled, powerful, yet gentle arms. "We need to start perfectly, and there's no better way than with some good food, prepared by me, with the modest hands of a Salvatore."

"Well, you're in a good mood", she pointed, smirking at him. He simply smiled, staring at her with those two touching green beads. She didn't have to look too much to know that he would give the world for her happiness, which many times happened. She meant everything to him, or at least a big part of it, and that thought made her happier than ever. But still, a bit frightened. "Look, about us…" she started.

"We'll take it slow", he answered, nodding once with his head. "No need to rush things, I know."

She smiled briefly, and took the shot by kissing him once on the lips. He responded almost immediately, but after a few seconds he pushed her away gently, smiling while breathing quietly.

"Let's get downstairs, breakfast is waiting for us", he asked, getting closer to the door.

"I'll go in a minute, let me just wash my face", and he accepted it, leaving her alone once again.

When she got in the bathroom, safe and secure, she stared at herself in the mirror for a while, trying to understand why she was so terrified. Was it because she couldn't forget all the things he said to her while he was under Klaus's compulsion? She had decided to forget, all of it; so why the words, the gestures didn't get out of her head? No, it wasn't because of that, and she knew it. She kept on starring at her face, without a change on her expression, challenging her face and daring her to make a move, to smile, to roll her eyes over her stupidity. But deep down inside, she knew; she always knew, since the beginning when she decided to keep the safe haven, when she decided to remain secure, with someone protecting her.

But that wasn't the case. _No, Elena Gilbert, you're just a coward, _she thought. _You're just a coward because he brought you safety as well. He just brought you safety with a bit of adventure and lust as well._ And she wasn't ready; she would never be ready to be with someone as impressive, as powerful and meaningful as Damon. She closed her eyes and got away from the mirror, while the Elena in the reflection kept on screaming to her. _You'll never be ready but you decided to not even give it a shot. Coward._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes: **To all of you who survived the last SE chapter, congratulations! One of my friends, the first one and only before I published this laughed at me and made me go through hell, saying how I made SE more sexual, and how I became a SEer. That, my dear fellows, it's not the case. I simply think that before I introduce the whole Damon and Elena romance, I should first create all kinds of cheesiness around Elena so she can realize that she chose the wrong brother. I didn't write the third chapter just yet; with school and all kinds of problems in my life, I've been kind of busy. But I enjoyed writing this chapter, since it's dedicated to Damon. Again I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes, and I hope you enjoy it as well.)

**Chapter Two.**

The taste of her blood in his mouth was like sin; a mixed of disturbing, pleasing feelings that always made his humanity become dangerously distant. He hardly remembered what it was like to _feel _these days, or at least he tried to think that way. All he could possibly think of was the opened neck slowly adjusting into his fangs, the experience of the sweet raw on his tongue, driving him insane. Vampire.

The best part for him was how they usually ran away from him, their eyes shattering with fear and despair as the human inside them reacted the rush to leave, to survive. It was really amusing to watch, as it was amusing to finish it. How entertaining it was to see the little girl, now dead in his powerful arms, scream for her life and beg for the sake of her family; how rousing it was to see her quivering while he satisfied himself; to see her fighting until the end, maybe because there was a family or a boyfriend waiting for her at home. Even the guilty that usually reached his heart because of _her _was gone. Or maybe not.

He easily imagined her staring at him and being disappointed, even hurt, like if it was her who was dying in his arms and not some strange, lost girl. Just the thought of those heartbreaking eyes gazing at him with desperation and incomprehension made him shiver. He couldn't accept her deception; for many centuries he accepted the typical people who usually stared at him and saw nothing but a lost man. The fact is that he _was _a lost man, sunken in Katherine's curls and Katherine's kinky, challenging smile. Even now, back in Mystic Falls, with all his ideas well-structured and the idea that he spent centuries mourning a girl that never cared about him, even now when he was still lost, although for different reasons, even now he carried with him Stefan's eyes, Alaric's eyes, even the Vampire Barbie's eyes. He carried them with acceptance, because he was no better than them, because he didn't care _that _much.

But not Elena's deception. Even her name made his eyes look straight to the moon and his legs lose strength. No, not hers. She was the sun, the moon, the sky and the stars, she was the annoying person who occupied his entire heart and made him go through hell and still accept it, just for the sake of seeing her honest smile, and her brilliant, intense brown hair trembling in the sun's bright. He thought he _liked _hell, as long as she was still with him, and yet not _with _him. _Oh, Elena_, he thought. _If only you knew._

He carried the dead girl's body into his car and drove for a while on the solitary road while the moon observed him quietly, with a funny, stupid smile. When he looked at his young, ravishing face in the mirror of the car, he saw how a drop of blood dripping from his lips. Her name was Jackie. He spotted her alone in that same road, with a ridiculous problem in her car that kind of problem that practically no girls could possibly solve, although for some men it was the easiest thing ever and he craved her naked neck, he craved the death of a human being just for the sake of feeling something good again. Oh, how many times he controlled himself for her; how many times he screamed to his vampire side to be the better man and please her, so that someday he would be the one. Silly, stupid Damon, he thought to himself. No way in hell she would choose him; he was the last one, he was the sarcastic, ass one, he could never be with someone like her. She was the sun, while he was the moon, and the thought made him smile. Because these two elements were lovers since the beginning of history, and yet they couldn't be together, once they were made of the exact opposites that made them day and night respectively. A bit like him and Elena.

Yet, they weren't lovers; far from that. They shared some kisses, some passionate kisses that slowly made hell even hotter and worse because deep down inside he knew he should control himself for both, because there were still others in the middle of them but lovers usually share mutual feelings. What Damon felt for Elena was far worse than what he felt for Katherine; it controlled his body and soul and made him a slave for her, a slave of love and _for_ love. It was the kind of twisted feeling that makes a person insane; and Damon many times felt like it was the end of the line, that he was losing it, all because of her. He even stopped caring about the way she felt about him, as long as she was kept save, as long as he could still see her smile, her unpretentious look at the world. And yet, what did she feel about him? Attraction, maybe? Some weird vibes, some special friendship? But love? Oh, no. He lost his hope in love when she decided to choose Stefan, three days ago. After everything, she was only searching for some safe haven while the love of her life was gone emotionally and physically.

After all, it would always be Stefan.

He wanted to cry. But he couldn't, not because he was afraid that someone might watch the road was deserted and the dead girl was gone for real but because it would make him weak. He missed Elena more than anything in the world, he missed her because she was his world and right now he felt like a complete stranger in a foreign land. Desperate, lost, nostalgic.

But why would he feel this way? He couldn't. He _wouldn't. _Oh, who actually cared if Elena Pompous Gilbert didn't choose him? Since he can remember girls have begged for his smile, for a kiss, for a bite, for pretty much everything. If he allowed, if he actually dared to forget her, he was sure there were many other girls interested in him. If not, he could always compel them to. The thought made him laugh. _How lonely and stupid you became, Damon, _he smirked. _Compelling girls to love you, just because one girl decided to love your baby bro. _But it wasn't just one girl, was it? There was Katherine, and then was her, and they both chose Stefan, always Stefan. But that would be it. That was the end of the line. If the Petrova line didn't like him, he was sure that another line would worship him… Like an Ostrova line or something.

Leaving Mystic Falls was probably the best thing for him at the moment. Without any Elena to confuse his vampire feelings, he would be back on the same old bad boy days. He would rent a house, or even compel people to give their houses to him, and he would feed himself every day, have sex with sexy, seductive, desperate girls and then let them die in his arms. He would switch his humanity off, he would be the bad brother again, he would be lost and nowhere to be found, and he would be happy. He would.

After he ditched the dead body's girl in some unknown forest, he easily reached a small town nearby. And when he was about to leave to the next town, he saw next to a house a 20 years old girl, with ginger hair and freckles in her cheeks and the crave for blood was back. So he stopped, and compelled the girl to join him, so he could kill her somewhere quiet and scary to make her more terrified, trying to switch off the feeling that he wanted to be lost just and only for Elena to find him and make him good, _once again._


End file.
